You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
