none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
