:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
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Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
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Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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