You're so nebulous sometimes
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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