This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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