did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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