You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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