i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
