it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
