Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
