so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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