So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm sobbing to NWA
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
