just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
