Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
