I heard we made out
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
