shes about as inviting as chlamydia
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
