He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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