wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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