Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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