dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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