3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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