check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
