This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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