They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.