I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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