When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
