M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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