Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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