a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize