You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
