Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
