I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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