I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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