so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
