I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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