Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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