Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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