i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
