i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
