the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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