i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
And the cops told us we were all naked.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
foreskin is a definite game changer
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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