my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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