worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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