His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
