and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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