I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize