I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
