How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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