We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
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It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
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I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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