we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
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It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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