we have officially lost it.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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