I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
