Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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