who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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