thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
