So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
