I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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