I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
