do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
