when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
