Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
