i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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