thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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