Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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