that's an acceptable place to lick
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
