Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
