Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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